Schwartz Apr 29, Question: This Disclaimer applies to the Answer Below Dr. Schwartz responds to questions about psychotherapy and mental health problems, from the perspective of his training in clinical psychology. Schwartz intends his responses to provide general educational information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual s.
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Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen.
Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. Mete, the issue of fetishes is very complicated. However, if two people enjoy indulging one another in a fetish and it does not break laws or involve unwilling other people, then it is fine.
However, you fiancee is not happy with your mask fetish. It appears that she is occasionally a willing participant but you need it all of the time or you cannot perform. This would probably annoy many sexual partners. It is needless to point out that sex is an extremely intimate act, particularly within the context of a loving relationship such as with a fiancee or husband or wife.
The human face represents the very essence of a person and most intimate lovers would want to have their face seen while making love and to observe the face of their partner. Yes, a mask sometimes, if that is your wish ,but not always.
In a way, the mask causes you and her to not really be there together. Why is it that you cannot perform without her wearing the mask? I suspect that you are conflicted about your sexual feelings and about sexuality as a human means of communication. The mask, something you always must have your partner wear, may hide the real and personal woman, rendering the sex annonymous. This is only a guess but I suspect that something of the kind is going on.
I understand your despair but do not go the suicide route. Instead, enter psychotherapy, especially with someone trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, because it is very focused and goal directed.
Let your fiancee know that you are doing this and that you do not want to lose her. Do not wait but go into therapy immediately and with this type of therapist, most usually done by a clinical psychologist.
You may need to go to the UK and see someone there.