Better sex after an affair. About Affairs.



Better sex after an affair

Better sex after an affair

SHARE During the last ten years there has been a revolution in understanding and treatment of extra-marital affairs driven by the seminal research and clinical work of Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon. Their book "Getting Past the Affair" is the gold standard of self-help books on this topic.

The traditional therapy model emphasized a hierarchical approach to treating affairs: The new therapeutic model features a "both-and" approach of making meaning of the affair for the "involved" partner, the "injured" partner, and the marriage , as well as an immediate focus on rebuilding trust , intimacy, and sexuality. To make this process positive and integrative , a crucial component is building a new couple sexual style.

You cannot compare marital sex with affair sex, it's "apples and oranges. The challenge is to build a stronger, more resilient sexual desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction. I am not advocating affairs as a way to enhance couple sexuality. The joke among clinicians is that affairs are good for therapeutic practices, but not for the couple.

You cannot change or undo the past. You can process past attitudes, behaviors, and emotions and learn from them, but there are no do-overs. You can emotionally process lessons learned and "honor" the experience of the affair, but you don't need to feel personally or relationally controlled by the experience.

Change occurs in the present and the future. Why is developing a new couple sexual style with a stronger, more resilient sexual desire so important in healing from an extra-marital affair? Although individuals and couples are different sexually, one size never fits all , focusing on couple sexuality gives you the opportunity to implement lessons from the affair so you become a resilient, vital emotional and sexual couple. Rather than anguishing about betrayal and obsessing about affair sex, the involved and injured partner can join together for a better integration of intimacy, pleasuring, eroticism, and satisfaction.

The affair is best understood as a wake-up call and a challenge to be a more involved, intimate, and erotic couple. So many couples treat sexuality with benign neglect until the crisis of an affair. In sexually recovering from an affair, a vital component is the commitment to continue to put time and energy to maintain intimate, vital couple sexuality.

For more on this topic, tune in to Man-Up Radio manupradioshow.

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Sex after Infidelity or cheating



Better sex after an affair

SHARE During the last ten years there has been a revolution in understanding and treatment of extra-marital affairs driven by the seminal research and clinical work of Snyder, Baucom, and Gordon. Their book "Getting Past the Affair" is the gold standard of self-help books on this topic.

The traditional therapy model emphasized a hierarchical approach to treating affairs: The new therapeutic model features a "both-and" approach of making meaning of the affair for the "involved" partner, the "injured" partner, and the marriage , as well as an immediate focus on rebuilding trust , intimacy, and sexuality.

To make this process positive and integrative , a crucial component is building a new couple sexual style. You cannot compare marital sex with affair sex, it's "apples and oranges. The challenge is to build a stronger, more resilient sexual desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction. I am not advocating affairs as a way to enhance couple sexuality. The joke among clinicians is that affairs are good for therapeutic practices, but not for the couple.

You cannot change or undo the past. You can process past attitudes, behaviors, and emotions and learn from them, but there are no do-overs. You can emotionally process lessons learned and "honor" the experience of the affair, but you don't need to feel personally or relationally controlled by the experience.

Change occurs in the present and the future. Why is developing a new couple sexual style with a stronger, more resilient sexual desire so important in healing from an extra-marital affair? Although individuals and couples are different sexually, one size never fits all , focusing on couple sexuality gives you the opportunity to implement lessons from the affair so you become a resilient, vital emotional and sexual couple.

Rather than anguishing about betrayal and obsessing about affair sex, the involved and injured partner can join together for a better integration of intimacy, pleasuring, eroticism, and satisfaction. The affair is best understood as a wake-up call and a challenge to be a more involved, intimate, and erotic couple.

So many couples treat sexuality with benign neglect until the crisis of an affair. In sexually recovering from an affair, a vital component is the commitment to continue to put time and energy to maintain intimate, vital couple sexuality. For more on this topic, tune in to Man-Up Radio manupradioshow.

Better sex after an affair

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3 Comments

  1. It is so so difficult. Right now, those things are yoga or teaching. This might sound like:

  2. One-by-one they walk into the bedroom and kiss us good-bye for the day. I was found out. Okay, there were probably about ten days during the entire year where we did not have sex but we always made up for those days.

  3. Moving from being emotionally and sexually disconnected after an affair to feeling erotically joined and ready to explore a new sexual life together can seem impossible. You may worry that you aren't having sex often enough. I was the one that ended the affair- after an intense 13 months.

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