My buddy Spencer and I were having breakfast this morning before we headed out on an endeavour to purchase exquisite pieces of art. Buying a shit ton of comics. The topics of our breakfast conversation were quite varied. Subjects such as our theories on quantum physics, our insights on how the speed force could of been used in the creation of life, what our opinions are on the literary works of our favorite writers.
I bring this all up to let you know how I got to the topic of this fine, sophisticated article you are about to read. As our meal was coming to an end, I happened to mention the need I had for an article idea that I could write about for the culturally enlightened fans of Broscience. The shame of being naked. Imagine you are both naked and you realize you are the soft one as you look at the pulsating veins that are sitting just below the onion thin skin covering her eight pack abs.
Most men do not want to be smaller than the woman they are about to have sex with. It would also be very embarrassing if your friends found out. Then again, nobody else is there to see your shame, so go pound away at the vagina attached to that block of granite you call a woman. That might be about as gentle as a handjob would be from one of these gargantuan ladies. You know what is great about having sex with a woman? They are soft, delicate, have fine hair, smooth skin, and they smell nice.
You are not the man. She looks like an Amazonian and you look like Zapp Brannigan. When the sex is done she will be the one holding you. You have no say in the matter. You are forever the little spoon. Death by snu snu. Let us focus on the pleasurable act of copulation.
In an ideal scenario, both willing participants in a sexual experience will receive the kind of pleasure they are looking for. You are unfamiliar with the person. But what if that one night stand is with the female Lou Ferrigno? Assuming you are desperate enough to make it with such a she beast, the best you can hope for is to quickly ejaculate into your own hand and run away deep into the night like some kind of horny boner goblin.
If you do make the decision to bonerize this grizzly bear lady something proper, just remember that things may get painful. If you let her on top for a normal cowgirl position she might use her iron, vice grip like thighs to lock you in place while she grinds your pelvis bone into dirty sex dust. This will most likely cause severe dick snappage.
The third option is doggystyle. Theoretically, this should give you the best chance to gain the most control of this wild, muscle bound horse of a woman. The only problem I can think of is if she were to aid your thrusting by pushing her steel plated buttocks backwards into your crotch.
Only your hammer is much weaker and far more susceptible to disintegrating into a fine dick powder. Do you like your furniture? How about the walls and the structural integrity of the building you live in? Most likely the outcome will be her powerbombing you through your own bed as she forces you to eat her steel box by putting you in the fearsome figure four ass lock.
Sex with a woman like that is risking the stability of any piece of furniture you are doing it on. One aggressive maneuver and you can say goodbye to your expensive couch. Just rent a room at a cheap motel to avoid this. It will be death by snu snu indeed. So this is just what I imagine it would be like to sex up a hardcore female bodybuilder. I could be way off though.
Perhaps they make up for their extreme appearance by being as delicate as a dandylion. Maybe I could of just looked up some porn on the subject and that would answer any questions I may have. Or I could even do some field research and have my dick snapped off by one of these irregular sized woman in the name of fine sports journalism. Quite possibly I have over thought this whole scenario and have thoroughly grossed myself out. Thanks for the idea Spencer, you fuck! No matter, the point is you nice readers should go out and have some fine intercourse with one of these ripped up, yoked to the max girls and let us all know how things go.