Click a button to go to a popular page on this site: Issues about masturbatory privacy: Getting "caught" Nearly everyone agrees that masturbating should only be done in private, and do so. Nearly everyone would be mortified to be accidentally discovered masturbating, or to accidentally discover someone masturbating. This is an issue everyone worries about.
People often delay or postpone masturbation when they feel they lack privacy, and people often stop masturbating while painfully close to orgasm when they hear a sound that threatens their privacy. Concerns that someone will discover them masturbating are justified; more than half of those surveyed have said someone has accidentally discovered them masturbating at least once. Even people who have little guilt about masturbating in general feel ashamed to be discovered in the act; most refer to it as being "caught," as though they were doing something immoral or illegal.
Yet, there seems to be no consequence of being discovered. Few of the people who walk in on a masturbation session say anything about it, generally being too embarrassed themselves to say anything. Most of the people who discover someone masturbating are older and experienced with the practice themselves. Being discovered by a spouse is different from being discovered by someone else, because the spouse is usually more concerned about the impact of a partner's masturbation on the couple's sexual life than about the act itself.
This article, therefore, is concerned with being discovered by persons other than spouse or exclusive sexual partner. Males are more likely than females to be discovered, if only due to the increased frequency at which males masturbate. Another page on this site deals with privacy for masturbating in dorms and other shared living situations. Here are some actual questions from readers of this site and the author's replies.
My mom also heard her. I was so embarrassed. I stopped masturbating and left the bathroom. I don't have another private place to do it. How did she know that I was masturbating in the bathroom and what should I do in the future? I would suggest finding a more private place or time to masturbate or else using the bathroom only when there's less demand for it.
My sister-in-law who is 10 years younger is staying at our place for a few days. This morning after my wife left for work, I thought I had a few minutes to masturbate before leaving for work. My bedroom door was shut but sister-in-law walked in anyway and got a good look at me lying back in bed watching porn. She shrieked and ran away. Afterward I encountered her in the kitchen.
She said she was sorry and thought I was at work. I told her sorry too. Should I do anything else? Will she tell my wife? What should I do? It would probably be better if you told your wife so she hears it from you before she hears it from her sister. Also, a lock on your door would be a good investment. One day when I was 12, I wasn't masturbating. I was scratching my scrotum, as it gets itchy. I didn't even know what masturbation was.
My mom walked in and said "are you jerking off? I then proceeded to look up what jerking off was, and I found HealthyStrokes. I was poorly educated on sex, so reading your page for young males, I was getting an erection, and then without resistance I started, you know, jerking off, and I didn't get to orgasm, but I remember that feeling it was like the heavens came to earth.
I was caught the next day by mom and she said, "you looked up jerking off after I mentioned it, didn't you? She told me about sex, and she even bought me a tube of Cetaphil to use to masturbate, she explained that my dad does it, my cousins do it, and I'm not the only one who does it, and told me that with lotion, it would be easier to orgasm. One day I was masturbating, when I realized my window was open, but then I moaned at orgasm and I heard some people laughing.
I'd like to think it was people at a party, but what if they heard me moan? Is that a crime or something? I feel awkward telling people stories involving me masturbating. Thanks for helping me discover how to jerk off, as it is immensely fun! It was a lot louder to you than to them. Their laughter was loud because they were in a group and had to be louder to be heard. Even if they heard you moan, they didn't know you were masturbating, and if they guessed you were, then they guessed correctly.
I normally masturbate around 10 times a week. Recently I am getting erections very often sometimes during class or while studying or when I see girls in school. Once my mom caught me wanking in my room but said nothing about it. It's been 2 months. Another time she saw me looking at porn but said nothing. Should I do anything about these incidents?
Thank you for this wonderful web site. Your frequency is on the high end of normal. It's normal and very, very good to get erections so easily at your age. I live in a small house with a lot of people, and I am practically never alone. The only private time I get during the day is when I am in the shower, which doesn't give me enough time to actually enjoy masturbating.
I can and I do masturbate properly after my family is asleep. I can only masturbate once a week and sometimes even once in two weeks, which is worrying me. A lot of nights I cannot masturbate simply because I'm too tired from studying and because it would leave me with less than five hours of sleep for the day which is unhealthy on its own.
When I stay without masturbation for too long, the tension distracts me from my studying. Is it bad that I'm not doing it regularly and do you have any tips on how to be able to do it regularly? Who are these people who are always around? You can bet they masturbate too.
See my page about masturbating in college dorms for advice on how to get more privacy from the people you live with. Last night I caught my little brother 12 masturbating in the shower.
He had the curtain pulled and I walked by the window. While I obviously have no qualms with him doing it, I noticed he was watching porn on his phone awkwardly holding it out of the water. I found this disturbing as I'm aware of the issues it can cause later on. I want to tell him he shouldn't watch porn but he didn't notice I saw him, so that could be awkward.
Do I need to say anything? You could certainly tell him how you feel about porn without revealing that you saw him using it or masturbating. Tell him what you think he should know. I masturbated during the day and I had pornography pulled up on the browser and I forgot to close it. But I still told her it was nothing pulled up. I set up my phone near my bed and took a vid of myself masturbating. I got grounded for a week. I hope you learned your lesson. The stories on HealthyStrokes.
I have one that involves getting caught in both solo and mutual masturbation. After my divorce I started seeing a woman who was also just out of a relationship. This was just over a year ago, and I was Neither of us was ready for intercourse or even oral sex, but we were comfortable with nude or mostly nude massage and self and mutual sexual touch with each other.
The idea of intercourse or oral sex made me feel uneasy. I am guessing she felt similarly. Having just been dumped by my ex-wife for another man, it was good to have a woman compliment me about almost everything, including what I looked like with my pants down, and it was good hold a woman in my arms and experience the excitement of seeing her nicely shaped private area.
On a cold, snowy, winter day up in the mountains of Colorado, we ended up in a chalet-style hotel room. This wasn't at all planned. I wasn't ready to be in a hotel room with a woman. Over the course of several hours with periodic breaks, we massaged each other, masturbated in front of each other, and enjoyed the benefits of mutual masturbation. Both of us climaxed, first with our own hands and then with the hands of the other. We inadvertently left the curtains partially open.
But after we discovered this we still didn't close the curtains. I chose not to say anything to my new friend, and I am guessing she chose not to say anything to me. I really don't know why she did not say anything.