I think part of my fascination with the topic was directly linked to my strong need to please the guys I had sex with. Sure, you could look at videos to see how other people got pounded but deep inside, you always knew they were acting.
Who would have thought gay acceptance carried such perks? Learning from My Mistakes Can I tell you a secret? When I first started receiving anal, I thought all you had to do was take a dump and wham — you were ready to get plowed. How to wipe your butthole the right way After that not so easy to hear bit of advice, I began a radical quest for knowledge on how to properly first time bottom, including what to do for preparation. I talked to anyone I could about this topic — particularly older men who proudly identified as power bottoms.
I learned a lot from these discussions. I also learned that versatility helps when trying to please another man. But I know plenty of guys who identify as exclusive bottoms.
Hopefully, you will walk away from this page feeling more knowledgeable and empowered. Some people bookmark this to their browser for quick reference. Just sharing this as a kind of pre-tip before we dive in. One of my first bottoming experiences was painful because I tried to ride a guy that was way too large. Here are some more thoughts to reflect upon: Some people are born natural tops.
Others are versatile and still others, total bottoms. Have you tried topping? Did you like it? Bottom for the right reasons, like being into a guy. Rather than just laying back and letting your man do his thing, I have found it helpful to mentally rehearse the experience before he ever sticks it in.
Doing so allows you to anticipate potential pain and establish a pain threshold. One way to help acclimate yourself to having anal sex is to simply feel around your anus after cleaning see tip 3. Here are some additional thoughts for self-exploration as part of mental rehearsal.
Squat down in the shower and with a soapy finger, gently explore the lining of your asshole. Lay down on the floor and touch the lining of your anus. Over the course of time, push your finger inside and feel around. Become aware of the different sensations and pleasure points. The good thing about the kit is that you can start off super small and graduate to larger sizes. I did this earlier in life and it helped.
Many beginner bottoms swear by this! Fantasize about the guy you want inside of you as you masturbate. The trick is to allow yourself to feel him in your mind. Healthy reasons men should masturbate often 3.
Use the anal cleansing tools Douche Once you are mentally ready, you need to get physically prepared. This means taking the time to properly clean yourself out. I want to spend a few moments on this particular issue because it is of vital importance.
Diet and Having Anal Sex First, if you are eating a high fiber diet that is conducive to anal sex, the cleaning process will be much easier. I encourage you to read this article on anal sex and your digestive system. Second, if you have gastrointestinal issues, preparation becomes even more important.
Read this post on constipation and anal. Allow enough time for food to digest before bottoming. The reason is your entire digestive system is processing food, which, when receiving anal, can cause bloating, discomfort and gas. Wait at least 4 hours after a meal before allowing anyone inside of you. Cleaning Your Ass and Anal Sex Consider investing some money in a high quality anal cleanser aka douche.
One of the best ones you can buy is the 4 in 1 shower cleaning system. I personally use this one and it has never let me down — not once.
Again, warm, soapy water is all that is needed for cleaning yourself out. Always make sure that you wash your anal cleanser out and disinfect it after each use.
Do not buy saline based enemas unless you have a medical reason for doing so. They burn the hell out of the lining of your anus and can cause discomfort when you are being penetrated. Skip the oil based enemas too. They are messy and can cause stains on your sheets and on you. If you are going to have anal sex, use a silicone based lubricant. This is particularly true if you are fairly new to anal and your hole has never been stretched out. You only need a few drops of this to mix into your silicone lube.
Great for anyone adverse to pain. If you are completely new to anal or not very experienced with bottoming for big men, it may help to get a lube launcher. You can learn more about the benefits of these types of helpers by reading this guide on playing with giants! Excellent Lube for First Time Bottoms 5.
Consider using a condom There are a number of reasons you might want to use a condom, particularly if it will be your first time. This may seem counterintuitive but let me explain why.
Condoms are enormously helpful for beginners who are still mastering the art of cleaning themselves out. Not only do these feel very natural for your man, they also have a little bit of lube on them to help with insertion. The way to move past this sensation is to do the following. Bear in mind, this one takes some practice: Relax your pubococcygeus PC muscles and resist the temptation of tightening them up. In my experience, there are two approaches to help you move past this challenge and on to major pleasure.
Start out on all fours and let him get behind you. Tell him to slowly and gently push it in. You can even guide him with a free hand. And it really helps if you can slip on a cock ring so that he remains completely firm during the process.
Lay him down on the bed or the floor. Sex, particularly anal , is all in the mind. This means you need to be part of the process and not play a passive role. If you have taken then necessary steps to clean your anus , you have nothing to worry about. In time, your fear will fade away. Remember, the more you freak out about it, the more powerful your anxiety will become. Here are some thoughts: Well, that is until you gain more experience.
Otherwise, you may shoot sooner than the both of you want. It takes time to get used to a man thrusting in and out. Anxiety, coupled with fear of the unknown, can cause your peen to shrink. One of my first relationships ended because I tried to convert my boyfriend from top to bottom.
As I mentioned earlier, sex, in all of its forms, is in the mind.