Facebook Taking care of the kids While many of these activities may be harmless, if one of the reasons you are doing them is to avoid spending time with your spouse, it may be an exit. Become aware of how you may be exiting the relationship, and begin to close those exits by putting more energy where it needs to be.
Eliminate all name-calling, finger-pointing, blaming, and shaming. A toxic relationship cannot thrive. Angry outbursts chip away at the love and trust that a couple has for each other.
Instead, take ownership for your feelings and frustration by focusing on why your spouse's actions disturb you. Rather than focusing on how your spouse ignores you, share how badly you crave his love and attention.
Not only does detoxing your marriage help remove the poison from your relationship, it will make your spouse much more amenable to meeting your needs.
Detoxing your marriage will also help to eradicate verbal abuse. Not sure how to start? Start here by reading our relationship self help book. Get into the habit of asking, "Is now a good time? When we talk, we want to connect and make sure our spouse hears us. If the goal is to connect, make sure your spouse is mentally and emotionally available to connect. The second step occurs when we listen. Try to enter the other's world by listening and understanding without responding or interjecting.
Although in your world, things may look entirely different, be curious and interested in what your partner is saying. You may be surprised what you discover. Couples are so often caught up in their own world that it is hard to make sense of the other's experience. In successful relationships, both partners are allowed to express their own feelings safely and can work together to bridge the gap between their worlds.
Working on any relationship is challenging, especially so when you are trying to rescue one in crisis. That's why it is crucial to infuse your relationship with loving behaviors that promote positive energy. These love infusions help lighten things and add fun: Appreciations — The best way to decrease resentment and reinforce positive behavior is by expressing appreciations. When we share what we like about our spouse, we begin to focus on what is right in the relationship, and our partner feels that his efforts are valued.
More than a simple thank you, sit down with your spouse, look into her eyes, tell her what you appreciate about her, and why it means so much to you. By spending a few minutes a day on this exercise, you can break through a lot of negativity. Make a set time once a week where you go out together and enjoy each other's company. Whether it means going for dinner or a walk in the park, take this time to enjoy face-to-face connection.
By making a fixed appointment, you will show each other that the marriage is a priority. Caring behaviors — Love is a verb. We demonstrate care for a spouse when we perform loving behaviors. When we act lovingly we not only stimulate our own love for our spouse; we awaken their love for us as well. And with these concrete behavioral changes occurring, we show that the relationship can indeed be different. If you're living in a sexless marriage, these five steps to save your marriage provide you with a clear path out of the darkness and a new beginning for your relationship journey.
With these five steps, couples have been able to reawaken love and enjoy each other again. Even if your situation seems hopeless, don't give up.
A better future is closer than you think. Get to the root of the problem and unburden your relationship. Start by reading our free marriage help book.