August 28th, by Nick Notas 25 Comments Most men suck at sex. There, I said it. The resources that exist to teach men are generally awful. Porn, most of which is unrealistic. Freakishly massive dongs that thrust full force for 15 minutes, fingerblasting, and girls faking orgasms left and right. Even the majority of amateur stuff is a poor educator.
While some are useful, many are overkill or wrong. The emotional climax you bring her to. The good thing is, any man can learn how to become an amazing lover — regardless of penis size. This is a graphic post. The links and content below are NSFW.
I know many women say they always enjoy missionary position but human biology is attracted to new. Change it up sometimes. Let her take control. Tie each other up or use a blindfold. Turn off the lights and have sex by candlelight. Put on sexy instrumental music. Use a toy…or two. Try new places — both indoors and out. The point is to open your mind to sexual possibilities and realize how fun it is to experiment together.
Build sexual tension throughout the day. It continues in the afternoon when you send her flirtatious and dirty texts. You want her panties soaked and her mind stirring before the real foreplay begins. Have lots of foreplay. While us men are ready to go in 30 seconds or less, most women need to be primed. Take your time and tease the hell out of her.
Kiss every inch of her body from her neck down to her thighs. Rub her crotch over her panties. Take her panties off slowly. Relish in the feeling of her soft skin. Go down on her. Lick around her lips, then on them, and move to her clit.
For beginners, start with a circular motion and apply consistent gentle pressure. Make sure your tongue is wet. Increase firmness and speed as she gets worked up. Her moans will give you guidance. Some sessions can last for much longer.
Keep in mind, dominance and romance are not mutually exclusive. Of course, this is a touchy subject. The last thing you want to do is scare a woman or make her uncomfortable. So how far do you go as a dominant? That depends on what you both want. Some beginner ideas are grabbing her by the waist and taking her suddenly. Pulling her clothes off aggressively. Pressing her up against a wall. Pinning her body or wrists down. Grabbing her legs, spreading them, and putting them over your shoulders.
Tugging the base of her hair. Then there are more hardcore avenues which require even deeper trust and communication. Things like vulgar dirty talk, rape fantasy, choking, gagging, spitting, slapping, flogging, humiliation, and orgasm denial. Everyone has their own level of kink. Finally, always have a safe word. I saw a good system I like — red, yellow, green. Also, this free three-part guide is brilliant.
Stop thinking about just getting off and appreciate the journey. Take deep breaths and relax your body in the moment. Change positions when things get too intense. Find positions that you last longer in. Masturbate before hooking up with a girl. When you masturbate, take your time to orgasm. Build yourself up to the edge, back off, then build it up again.
Have you heard of Rocco Siffredi? Again, porn is not an accurate representation of the real world but he does one thing that transcends his films… He desires women more than anyone else. Get turned on by a woman and the female form. This is especially effective if you have sexual anxiety. Look at it like you want to devour her. Stare deep into her eyes while you enter her. Kiss her with passion. Breathe hard and be vocal.
Tell her how beautiful she looks and how you have to have her. Embrace your primal instincts. No woman wants to feel like sex is a chore or obligation. Encourage her sexuality through communication.
It happens with honest discussions , positive reinforcement, and dropping your inferiority complex. Good partners have an insatiable appetite to give their woman the best sex possible. Together, you have to open up about expectations, needs, and desires. Ask her what positions she enjoys. How she likes you to play with her clit. Invite her to share her wildest fantasies and fetishes.
Relaxation is the key to coming. Tension is the 1 orgasm blocker. You need to immerse her in the moment. This is where being patient and having lots of foreplay comes in. Caress her body to release all the tension in her muscles. Instruct her to breathe softly, sink into the bed, and close her eyes. Express how perfect her soft canal feels. Reinforce what a good girl she is.
Encourage her to embrace all her naughty thoughts and emotions. Offer to please her another way. Get excited with her about trying to bring her there next time.
For a woman to orgasm with you, she needs to trust you. This is a huge buzzkill. If you ejaculate prematurely, finish her off with your tongue and fingers.
Let her relax and enjoy the moment. The worst way to get her to want it is to force it on her. She has to desire it. Make it all about her enjoyment and mean it. It can take many sessions for a girl to warm up to the idea. She might have had terrible past experiences.