Trying to think up something that's going to sound hot in the heat of the moment can be tough — not to mention, things can turn awkward pretty quickly if it doesn't end up coming off as sexy as it did in your head. Plus, if you and your partner haven't talked dirty to each other before, is it fine to just throw something out there? How can you ask her if it's something that she's into?
Are there any phrases that are always off limits? How To Sext Like A Pro, Revealed Before you start dropping lines from Fifty Shades Of Grey and hoping for the best, there are some steps you should take that will help things go smoothly and make dirty talk hotter for both of you.
We asked a few experts to share their best advice for how to talk dirty — and had some real women give us the dirty details of the hottest thing a guy has ever said to them in the heat of the moment.
Here's everything you need to know to master the art of talking dirty. Why Dirty Talk Can Make Sex Better If you've had a woman say something filthy during sex, you've probably noticed that it made whatever it was that you were doing feel even better. But why is that? D, a clinical psychologist at Doctor On Demand , there's science behind why talking dirty feels good.
Dirty talk stimulates and engages senses that may be overlooked or under used when in a sexual situation — our imagination, thought and hearing. We are engaged with touch and smell by definition, but dirty talk engages the senses that are not as commonly used or thought to be used when having sex. These are powerful senses and thus make the sexual experience that much more exciting and fulfilling. The areas of the brain engaged are the frontal cortex where the pleasure, judgement and imagination areas of the brain are.
This can mentally begin the act of foreplay hours or even days before the actual act may occur. Flirty or dirty talk will heighten our arousal and keep us thinking along a sexual vein. For couples who do not see each other on a regular basis, this can so enhance the desire to have sex with our partner that adds a definite intensity to it. Here's How There has even been research to suggest that dirty talk can increase a woman's chances of having an orgasm.
Most of these brain pathways can trigger a 'mindgasm' completely on their own. When enough of this input reaches the brain, the orgasm reflex is triggered. A good lover will provide several different types of orgasmic stimulation at the same time. Sharing those desires with a partner indicates a deep level of trust and intimacy which can only help to foster strong feelings and further trust.
By opening up to someone about our deepest thoughts, through dirty talk, we can achieve a deeper connection. Then he'll take his time getting there — but my mind is already on him following through with those promises, which makes even the smallest thing he's doing to me feel more intense.
Read This "The right time to start talking dirty is after you've actually had a conversation about it," says sexuality educator Ashley Manta. The last thing you want to do is to be going along doing your typical sexual interaction and then suddenly throw in 'Spank me, Mommy!
There's nothing wrong with wanting to say that, but it's nice to give your partner a heads up as to what you're interested in and what turns you on. Make sure they're on board too! Dirty talk is a team sport. In order to capitalize on those feelings, men should speak their mind about dirty talk with their partner while the juices are flowing. It will allow the partner to see where the man is coming from in a sexual and safe way. By introducing dirty talk during a mundane exchange, men risk coming off as weird or too strong.
As far as dirty talk specifically, I don't like the name calling that goes on in porn so I told him that, so he's stayed away from that which I think helped me be more open to it. Jess O'Reilly , Astroglide's resident sexologist points out, there are a few reasons your partner may have hesitations or a negative view of talking dirty. The content of mainstream porn also suggests that all dirty talk must be raunchy, hard core, and deeply rooted in gendered stereotypes of sexual experience.
In reality, nothing could be further from the truth. Dirty talk does not need to be rough, naughty, or even sexual to be erotic. The most enticing chatter can be romantic, teasing, alluring, and flirtatious according to your personal preferences. Does that sound appealing to you? If they say no, ask for more information — is it feeling embarrassed to say things out loud?
Is it having no idea what to say or where to start? If it's 'I'm just not into that' then drop it. If it's only a 'no' because they have shame or anxiety around 'doing it right' then that can be an opportunity for dialogue and negotiation. Also cover who wants to start, how to signal when you're ready to be done, and any words or phrases that are off limits.
In fact, Manta says leveraging virtual opportunities to practice your dirty talk can help you get more comfortable with doing so in real life. If you have permission, send them a tasteful nude. Compose the shot based on what your partner finds attractive, don't just stick your phone down your pants. Practice makes perfect in all things, and this does include dirty talk. Each opportunity offers a different degree of intimacy.