Could not subscribe, try again laterInvalid Email A naughty text, a kiss, a full blown affair some people have different views on what counts as being unfaithful.
Having just been made redundant I was browsing job websites at my home in London and noticed an advert for a married dating agency. Dating for married people? Feeling intrigued, I turned to google. I was amazed with the number of websites that appeared in my search, with one called Illicit Encounters coming out on top.
I clicked the link without a second thought. The website looked classy, not seedy. And stated it was; The UKs largest dating website for married people. With over , UK users. I read on, fascinated. Married but feeling neglected? In need of some excitement? I thought, my stomach flipping with excitement. It was , and I'd been married for a year, been with my wife for seven.
Cracks were already showing in our relationship. I still loved and cherished my wife, but the passion had long gone. And with two young kids, a hefty mortgage and now unemployment to face we were struggling. No harm in a bit of window shopping, I reasoned. I signed up, typing in my bank details without an ounce of guilt. In fact I was overwhelmed with excitement. This is escapism at its best, I reeled. I'd cheated on my wife before.
What can I say Im a flirt! But I never planned to meet anyone on the site in person. I don't think cyber stuff counts as cheating. A physical, sexual relationship is adultery in my book. But many women state they just want to chat. At first none of it felt real.
Even when I messaged a few women it was easy to hide behind flirty emails and virtual kisses. Another thing to actually meet. Then I realised there were thousands of women in my situation bored and stuck in passionless marriages.
We had an instant mutual understanding, set boundaries and in most a need for a physical connection, a spark. Two weeks after signing up I arranged my first actual date.
Before the first meeting, I was incredibly nervous. But that was six years ago and Ive met a lot since. I'm only on it three or four months a year though.
I'll have a break, but get drawn back by the escapism, the quality of female members and the illicit nature of what we are doing. I'll chat to two or three women a week, but only date one at a time. If you're too risky, or greedy you'll get busted, I tell myself.
I've told two close friends. One was horrified, the other said: Just be careful, don't get caught. If my wife did find out? I'd pack an enormous suitcase and phone a friend! Seriously though, there would be no explanation. It would be over. I think some people want to get caught, if perhaps subconsciously.
This is not childs-play, but a serious undertaking. So far I've had three meaningful affairs. The last one being on-going and is heading towards a place I sincerely did not expect.
But despite the potential upheaval, I am really happy to have found this woman. In reality my marriage ended a long time ago. Deep down, I know we probably never should have got married. Relationships are complicated though. Scenarios never black and white. I can't just up and leave. It's not that simple. I couldn't be angry or blame my wife if she was unfaithful. I'd be sad, but I can only assume she is as unhappy as me. I truly believe monogamy is an outdated ideal in relationships.
Men are wired to behave like they do, its a scientific fact. Some just repress that urge better than others like me! What's interesting is the huge number of women on this website - mostly married, with good jobs and well educated. It proves society is becoming more accepting of infidelity as a whole. Different cultures accept non-monogamous behaviour, and the UK is just catching up, finally! Theres nothing wrong with a good flirt. Id say cheating starts with a kiss.
Ian Hodgson, 34, from Devon. Anything that causes you to lie to your partner be it text, phone, or physical contact.
Its all the same. Carl De Marco, 31 from Stoke-onTrent. I think this sums it up: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. Me and my boyfriend have a zero-tolerance cheating policy. If you even think of cheating it proves your not happy and should end your relationship.
Laura Stannard 26 from Leicester. If youre kissing someone who isnt your partner, thats cheating. And while I dont know if naughty texts classes as cheating, its most definitely unacceptable if youre in a relationship.
Jill Robinson, 27 from Newcastle. A naughty text can turn into a kiss, a kiss into moreits all about getting something extra without sacrificing your relationship which is cheating. Charlotte Blum, 31 from Balham, South London. Like us on Facebook.