I am in love with my real brother! I know it's all wrong but I am very attracted to my elder brother since past 3 years. TNN Aug 13, , I am years-old and he is 26 and I want to form a love relationship with him! Please advice me as it's very important. You seem to be at an age where physical sexuality is new and evolving and may seem confusing too.
It is not unusual for people to experience attraction towards their sibling as a normal process of experiencing and exploring their own sexuality. This initial exploration in most individuals slowly moves to other non-related partners, as a part of normal development process.
Restrictions and impositions from families and societies facilitate this shift. Westermarck's hypothesis has shown that siblings use clues like living under the same roof and being cared for the same parents to develop a sexual aversion. However, attractions maybe still experienced because our mate selection is based on matching templates in our minds.
We form templates from our early experiences of life: Shared genes and early experiences makes the templates of siblings most similar. Genes tend to shape our preferences, talents, and attitudes — and familiarity creates comfort. Template matching happens for non-related couples too. For siblings, this can drive an enhanced sexual attraction. This is perhaps happening with you and your brother. The society at large has very strong prohibitions against incest.
Incest taboo has evolved over centuries as essentially nature's way of protecting humans from passing along the genetic mutations and disease risks that happen more commonly with the involvement of close relatives. Thus, families keep these attractions safe and within checks, to ensure the relationship is developmentally appropriate and within healthy boundaries.
I would definitely recommend processing, understanding and dealing with the emotions in a safe space with a therapist. Rejecting these emotions, judging them, acting on it or bottling it up will cause a myriad of problems in your daily functioning — like emotional upheavals of guilt, anger etc, influence your future relationships, your self-image and overall functioning in life.
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