As part of this revolutionary approach, I also decided to include a male perspective, because whether gay, straight or bi, there are plenty of men out there who adore being penetrated that way. Woman A is Ella Dawson. She is, quite franky, awesome. Honey is in her mid-4os and describes herself as a shy exhibitionist, who is loving life now more than ever before. Anal sex is challenging, overwhelming, pleasurable, scary, intimate, painful, fun, dirty and fucking incredible. Oh my god, YES.
I am a sensation junkie and anal sex is sensational. I love the intensity and the way it takes over all of my senses, making me feel primal and utterly sexual. Yes, yes it really does. But like PiV sex and so many other things in life it does actually get better with practice. Much, much better… Why did you first decide to do it?
My sexual partner had experience with anal and was able to introduce me to it with a lot of patience and preparation. I was having a lot of fun with a friend with benefits. After a while we fell into a spooning position and he pressed his cock, still dripping with my juices, against my arse and asked if I wanted it. Did you already have much experience with anal play, either solo or with partners? Even though it was my late thirties, it was before I had any sex toys.
It sort of both happened at the same time, fairly early on. When does anal play with a partner become anal sex? My strap-on packing wife would disagree. What did it feel like the first time? Was there any pain? We used a lot of lubricant and went slowly, at a pace that allowed me to adjust and stay comfortable.
It was intense and wonderful. I lost all sense of time and reality as I just focussed on the feelings. He took it very gently, responding to my every signal, especially at the beginning. I have always liked the feeling of fullness from penetration and here was that feeling intensified. There might have been. What are the key things to remember when it comes to making it feel good for the receiver? Listen, watch and respond to their body, voice, sounds and breathing.
Allow them the space to move when they need to — whether that is to pause, pull away or to press themselves further onto your cock. Make sure they know that you are patient and aroused. Start slow, obviously — with getting to know a partner you will also get to know what they prefer, as well as their physical limitations. Being relaxed makes everything better for both of you. Also lube, lube, and more lube!
Is the pleasure purely physical for you, or is there a psychological element to it as well? There is absolutely a psychological element—anal sex is something I only do with partners I love and trust absolutely.
I have thought about this question a lot. For receiving, I am fixated on the physical. I have never had a taboo about it. I just went from never having really thought about it for me, to absolutely loving it. When it comes to giving, it is absolutely the psychological element that makes me horny and wet. Any useful tips re: My first time was spooning — beautiful and sensual with two bodies moving together. I have done it in doggy position more times, or with me face down on the bed.
That feeds my kink of being held down and feeling his weight on me. If you want to keep control, choose a position where you can move against or away from him.
Jump on top and grind away! It gives you much control over depth, speed and general fuckitude. Up to the couple! Slow, long strokes that maximise that feeling of being stretched.
Then build up the speed but always, always keep the depth of each thrust. I want it all, each and every time. Yes please — both! Also experiment with different depths if you can. Which brands do you favour? I use so much lube and I am obsessed with Uberlube.
Of course the answer is lube, lube, lube, though I have already admitted to doing anal without any. Whether it is my own soaking wetness, spit or copious amounts of liquid silk, I want his cock to slide in, not drag against my skin. Waxing, enemas, douches, etc? If I know that it is likely, I will douche but, to be honest, I have had more experiences without any prep than with.
This is where you experiment by yourself. Never to my knowledge. Again if it feels like it is dragging or pulling your skin, stop and make it slide.
Very very occasionally, but really not much at all. Do you spread a towel on the bed or anything? And is there much clean-up afterwards? No towel, but having tissues or little sanitizer cloths available can be helpful. The most clearing up I have done is when we have gone overboard with lube.
That can need a serious wipe up. Otherwise, just normal cleaning. Of course, anything that is going to go near my cunt needs washing after anal before any other contact. I do often have a towel on the bed but that is because I squirt.
I definitely try to have a towel on hand, for lubey hands if for nothing else. There is as much clean-up as you want there to be this is where condoms on toys become the MVP but I do always thoroughly clean all toys. Any anal-specific safe-sex tips? You can still get STIs from anal sex! Use condoms or talk to your partners beforehand about testing, etc.
Listen to your body. Make sure there is no cross contamination from arse to cunt. You want to be reminded of it by memories not symptoms. Besides that, starting slow and relaxing will reduce the possibility of bleeding.
Have you ever had an orgasm from anal sex alone? Even my memories of anal sex are mottled and overwhelming. Oh my god, yes. Deep, intense, whole body orgasms that roll on and on. If anything, I orgasm much easier from anal sex than other kinds of stimulation. Saying that, orgasms from anal are much more involved, intense, full-bodied affairs. They make me go funny in the head afterwards. And if you had to sum up anal sex in one sentence, as the person on the receiving end…?
It is fucking amazing and feels like a total distillation of lust to me. Bonus hole of awesome!