An AA average of 5. We start by seeing a foggy jungle-like place with some scared men. They are trying to get somewhere to get help. One of the men says "What are you, show yourself. Only one of the men gets away and he is seen running out of the jungle-like place. We go to kids playing in a village. It is a nice day. A small boy sees something and runs to Iolaus goes to see this man. Iolaus and Hercules throw each other around. Boys will be boys.
Iolaus tells Hercules "It's bad luck for the best man to kill the groom before the wedding" as he is being benchpressed over Hercules' head. Then there is much laughter and male bonding. Iolaus is getting married! There is much crying by me. Back to the crystal ball. The men chat while walking along. They are talking about Onya.. Iolaus' beautiful intended bride. UH OH, we hear Hera's theme music. We see bones lying on the ground next to a little girl.
She says "A monster killed my father then spit out his bones. A serpent-like hydra with a collar. Probably the best dressed monster I have ever seen.
Unfortunately, this well-dressed hydra multiplies. When its head is cut off Eventually Hercules and Iolaus kill the fashion conscious hydra with fire. A peacock feather found at the scene shows that this was all the work of Hera. Hercules says that "Hera is proof of what happens when a woman gets too much power. We go to Hercules and Iolaus with Alcmene. Iolaus invites them to dinner, Onya is cooking. Iolaus leaves and Mom fusses over her son.
She is concerned about a cut on his arm and asks what happened. Alcmene knows that Hera is the cause. She goes to get stuff to dress the wound.
He looks alot like Anthony Quinn. Zeus is checking up on his favorite son. He says that he can't control Hera. In walks Alcmene and Zeus drools and oogles her.
Zeus can't control his women or his hormones. He tells Zeus to stay away from Alcmene. Go to the lone survivor from the jungle-like place. He is slinking around the village. We go to Iolaus tasting Onya's cooking from a bubbling pot. It only minimally resembles a crone-like witches cauldron.
Alcmene enters the kitchen and Iolaus goes over to Hercules who is sitting at a table. Hercules agrees that there is a weird smell coming from the kitchen from the cauldron. Onya serves him a sampling of her witch's stew. Hercules' expression shows that it tastes weird, too. Thankfully he is saved from food poisoning or turning into a toad by the lone survivor.
This mysterious man appears in one of the windows. Onya sees him a gives out a startled "OOOH. The quickly opened door is stopped by the survivor's nose. We discover that the survivor, named Pithas, is looking for Hercules. His village is called Gargarensia and it's under attack by vicious beasts. Hercules agrees to help and they plan to leave in the morning. Iolaus wants to go along.
He has a problem Iolaus says "Best friends fighting back to back one last time. Hercules concerned about how Onya will take this. Iolaus tells Onya that Hercules begged him to go.
He repeats the Best friends Liar liar pants on fire. Hercules promises Onya that he will get Iolaus back in plenty of time for the wedding. Off the three men go. Lions and tigers and beasts Lots of pretty visual scenes.
More jokes about Onya's lack of cooking skills. We go to a man struggling with a pig. We have reached the village. Iolaus and Hercules ask "Where are all the women? They are told that the Beasts took them. There are children in the village but they are all boys. The children are found at the riverbank. I hope that the fish hooks are removed humanely. The beasts are described as looking like a wolf, a bear and a hawk. Wolves and bears and hawks There is more Onya cooking jokes and male bonding.
Iolaus says he wants to have 5 sons I am sure that will cut down the confusion in that family on who is guilty of Our heroes stumble upon two men hanging upside down looking deceased. Noises and movement occur all around. The men the live ones, not the dead ones reach a cleared area and are attacked as the creatures drop down from the trees. Hercules and Iolaus are quickly surrounded by people in animal masks swinging sticks and ropes. Unfortunately they are not throwing baubles and candy.
Guess it's not Mardi Gras after all. Nope, Iolaus is being throttled and Hercules has both arms restrained. The battle turns in our favor. Suddenly one of the masked creatures climbs a tree like spiderman. Then all of the masked beasts disappear up in the trees. Hercules and Iolaus walk slowly along listening and looking around carefully. Iolaus' feet are grabbed from the ground and he stumbles.
His sword is dropped, a hand pulls it into the earth. Hercules reaches in and pulls out a beast. And the battle is on again.
Our heroes are surrounded by the Mardi Gras rejects. And they are twirling their sticks giving me a pounding headache. Do not watch this with a hangover. Luckily both Hercules and Iolaus get swords.