Gilchrist So much sex Let's face it, more than a decade after its premiere, the series, in all of its over-the-top glory and with all of its often-ridiculous storylines, remains an important benchmark in lesbian representation on television.
First, we included only those sex scenes that involved at least one major character. Although, in cases where it was tough to tell just how far things had gotten in the actual world of the scene, we just included it. When it comes to sex scenes, more is more. Essentially, we ranked the ones we found the least sexy, pointless, creepy, sad, odd, or boring toward the lower end of the spectrum. Those that got the most bang for the buck ended up toward the top. Finally, we fully concede to the L Word aficionados of the world that we may have missed a scene.
Watching sex scenes for hours on end is hard, and there could have been a glitch in our process. Perhaps we were distracted by all of the nudity. If we missed or forgot your favorite scene we offer a collective mea culpa.
Now, on to the rankings! And please feel free to comment and share your favorite scenes with us! It's the first time we see the legend, the Flashdancer Jennifer Beals, in this sort of position. In the doctor's office, Tina's in the stirrups, it's clinical, and Bette is just plain uptight in the pilot. This is just sad. The possibility of Kit trying out the ladies?
That's such a stretch. Kit falling off the wagon and having passed-out lesbian sex. There isn't much we can say. No one is rooting for this couple to make it like we would for Bette and Tina. Voyeurism can be sexy but this is just, well, illegal. This and the previous one are above are basically a package. We're pairing this with the sex scene above as there's nothing sexy about it, except that the actress playing the fake UPS girl is cute. Just when we thought Mark could not get any more disgusting he hires a girl to seduce Shane.
Kit's willingness to give it the old college try while sober. The fact that she's not the least bit into it. Nobody wants to see Shane and Jenny together. Jenny pulls off an initital sincerity in this scene, making Nikki believe she's forgiven, which is the scariest part. Our skin crawls throughout the scene wondering when Jenny is going to let loose and skewer Nikki.
We just have to say it -- none of the scenes from the entire cynical 6th season do not rank among the best. Dana and Lara are so adorable and sexy together. She says the words to Dana that nobody wants to hear. It's Leisha Hailey's first L Word sex scene! Neither wants what the other wants and it's just plain bad sex. What a waste for Alice's first time on screen. Morning sex with Helena. Getting caught in the act by Helena's kids. Dana sex scenes are fairly rare, so it's fun to see her trying to get over Lara, and this one gets points for good comedy.
No one is rooting for Dana and Jenny get together when Alice is out there somewhere. Plus, it's funny, but so painfully awkward.
Not so much except that it's hot, sweaty, and fairly graphic. Jenny is clearly struggling with the feelings she has for Marina and what that means in the bigger picture, and we start to feel kind of bad for cuckolded Tim. Poor guy can't even watch sports with Jenny around.
They look good together. No one is rooting for Tonya. By this time we all want Dana to be with Lara, or with her best friend Alice.
Melissa Leo as Winnie wins this scene! Helena sure is horny for Tina, and it looks like fun until Winnie arrives. While not quite as awkward as being interrupted by her kids, it's a big turn off for Helena's ex Winnie to put an end to this little mid-day patio session. Yes, this is hot on its face, but you know it's going to be a shitshow. It's just so irresponsible, and it will change Shane and Jenny's relationship forever. It's all pretty sad since Jenny truly loves Shane.
It's fun to see Bette on the bottom. Bette and Tina are each other's lobsters. This pairing is just wrong. Packaged with previous scene Turn On: Sex at work when your colleagues are just outside the door is a turn-on. We just know this affair will end with Bette getting caught. This girl seems to really get Max. She's kind of a forgettable character in general. We can't even find or remember her name. Nobody wants Dana to have to go through this. There's something about Alan Cumming going down on Daniela Sea that has a certain appeal.
Jenny seems genuinely hurt, but we suppose that in the karmic world of The L Word, she had it coming. Bette's guilty conscience from cheating on Jodi with Tina gets the best of her while trying to have sex with Jodi. Jennifer Beals' arms in this shot. We can't help but feel awful for Jodi. Dylan seems to have repented since attempting to extort Helena a few seasons back, and they're very passionate.
Now it's Helena's turn to be deceptive after putting unwitting Dylan through a test of her sincerity sending Nikki in to try to expose her. It's all so confusing, and ultimately a turn-off. Tina gets her rocks off up against a wall.
Now she's cheating on Bette. Plus, no one wants to see the guy who played Mark on Friends get with Bette Porter's girl. Naturally, they have sex. This is where Jenny delivers her "Every time I look at you I feel so completely dismantled" speech. Anne Ramsay Robin is super-sexy. We really want to see more of Robin. Closet sex in a public space is sexy in and of itself. This is just a mess.
Shane's gets with Jenny because she feels guilty about going down on Nikki at Yamashiro when Nikki was with Jenny, so now Nikki and Shane hook up.
We had no idea how loopy Jenny would get, and Eric Mabius could be worse to look at. We'd rather see Bette and Tina doing it. Jenny's turned on by thinking and talking about lesbian sex. We'd still rather see Bette and Tina doing it. Helena's complete loss of control. Catherine is so freaking shady. This is just so raw, and it feels so wrong and naughty that it's a total turn on.
No one is really rooting for this Jenny and Carmen pairing. It's all about Shane and Carmen! The heady literary convo that precedes the cunnilingus.
Tim catches them in the act and he's rightfully hurt. A one-day stand in an empty apartment. Shane is just plain stupid sometimes. Tina rediscovers her attractability with a hot cardiologist after leaving Henry.
The clinical conversation about breast implants in the middle of hot action is a bit of a buzzkill. Shane on the bottom. Talk about collective, metaphorical blue balls for the viewing public. Max begins to explore what he's into.