Contrary to what society wants to portray we are not these physical animals that only need sex, sustenance and sleep to survive. We have needs that extend beyond the physical. Now, once again, every man is different and each man could make a different list as far as what they look for in a woman.
Behind the swag and the bravado a man displays on the outside, there often times lies a man who may not be confident in his appearance, educational level, intelligence, personality, sense of humor, sense of style, spiritual walk, career accomplishments, place in life, financial situation, sexual health or a variety of other things. Every man is looking for a woman who makes him feel safe enough for him to share his deepest insecurities with. Most men know that it is not macho to show weakness when you step out to face the world each day.
But no one can be strong all the time. Men are looking for that safe place to land where he no longer needs to be Superman and he can be assured that he is loved, accepted and encouraged even in the midst of his own insecurities. How do you do this? It needs to be consistent and genuine.
It means to publicly praise him before others. People will naturally gravitate to the place where they receive the greatest affirmation work, sports, gym, church, etc.
He desires to receive that from you. I can assure you, your encouragement never gets old. Now, with that being said, this brings up another VERY important issue.
The ideal time to figure out whether or not you can support a man is prior to marriage. If the man has a clear vision of where he desires his life to go you need to assess whether he is the type of man you want to stand beside and support.
Does he have the temperament and drive you can see yourself supporting? You also need to assess whether the particular vision he has fits you, your goals and your specific gifts. In other words, how are you naturally wired to help him get to where he believes he wants to go? Right or wrong, most men are looking for the woman who can support them and will often times pass up a woman he may consider more attractive for the one he knows will support his dreams.
It could be a sport, sports team, hobby, or an activity such as working out. Women may enjoy a nice candlelight dinner and a two-hour conversation and we do too. Men may value going to the gym together followed by watching a football game; neither of which may involve lots of talking.
Every man is different. Now, with that being said some of his hobbies he will still desire to do by himself or with his boys, but the effort to understand them and take part in them can mean a lot to him. And if you begin doing these activities together it can bring the two of you closer together and it may lead to discovering a hobby that the two of you can do together. If your man is a leader then this will be important to him. Also, because he is a leader, he desires to improve as a leader.
Therefore, if he is secure and self-aware, he desires for those closest to him to challenge him so that he can become an even greater leader. This underscores the idea that submission is not silence. When you are consistent and genuine with praise you earn the right to correct them when they are wrong.
Most men do not want to consistently fight with his woman or put up with an abrasive, combative, confrontational tone of voice. They desire to be challenged in a respectful way. We need wind-down time at the end of the day. We need time to plan and strategize for our business pursuits and other goals we have set for ourselves and our families. We need time with the fellas. We need time for our hobbies.