I am often asked this question: One of the main symbols of a relationship is intimacy. Sex will not prevent a breakup. So is sleeping with an ex boyfriend a good idea? People contact me all the time asking should I have sex with my ex or not? Is sex between exes truly a good way to get back together? Should sleeping with your ex after a breakup even be considered? During private coaching sessions some people often tell me: So very often when you decide to continue to have sexual relationships with an ex partner, all you are doing is cementing the idea in their mind that they still have you in their pocket.
In a situation like this you risk playing a dangerous game. The reason is simple; a needy, dependent person, is not appealing… We are once again touching on the fundamentals of seduction here. If you plan on continuing to sleep together, I suggest that you view your ex as nothing more than a simple sexual relationship and to exhibit no signs of tenderness that could expose you…. Why would you confess everything to your ex in pillow talk, or worse still, ask them to come back?
You are also killing the element of surprise, which is a crucial part of getting your ex back… I slept with my ex: Is it worth the risk? I coached Julia a young lady who lives in the New York City area. She had broken up with her boyfriend because she was going through a lot in her personal life and was stressed at work.
She quickly realized that she made a mistake and got back together with her ex boyfriend. Unfortunately, he was scarred by their initial breakup and he was bitter and resentful as they tried to heal and rebuild. After a few weeks he broke up with her and for the next couple of months they were in an on-and-off type of relationship. He loved Julia, she was the love of his life. In fact he wanted to chase her but every time they would sleep together he would have doubts about their long term future shortly thereafter.
I had to convince Julia to stop sleeping with him and to pull back on even seeing him all together to get him to commit to her again…and eventually he did! So be careful and think it through before you use sex as a method of getting back together. Sex should never be used out of fear or simply as a strategy to get what you want! What happens if he remains with his new girlfriend even after you two have spent a night together?
You feel betrayed and hurt and still have feelings for your ex. I am in no way shape or form trying to put down the masculine sex or say that all men are the same in love. This is why I am sharing various techniques and methods with you that will truly help you set out on a successful attempt at getting back together with the man you love.
Start by reviving his feelings for you. Spend time with him and reestablish the affinity between you two before you get physical! I often tell people I coach not to care about what other people think and to live out their dreams.
Why does my ex only want sex? There is also the important aspect of physical attraction. After months or even years and years of life together, sometimes emotions dwindle. Sex with your ex, the miracle solution? This is what gives you false hope, and this is what makes you continue to have a purely sexual relationship with your ex , without necessarily being able to make them want to commit. Oftentimes the result is unfortunately quite the opposite. Do this in order to become a new and improved version of yourself; or to once again be the ideal man or woman that your ex found so incredible in the beginning of your relationship.
It will be significantly easier to seduce your ex with all your improvements. Sex is not the miracle solution and plenty of success comes without it. In coaching, I accompany many people who continue to have intimate involvement with their ex simply because they are afraid of losing their partner. Why sleep with an ex? One thing is for sure: Some people turn the page not long after the breakup and are no longer in touch with their ex, but other people, like you, still spend time with them intimately.
A sexual relationship after a breakup can have multiple meanings. Sleeping in the same bed as your ex, a person that you like and still find attractive can give rise to desire and temptation, and if you fight it off for multiple nights in a row, it can amplify and you can cave. One little caress can be enough to do the trick, and you kiss your ex and sleep together despite the desire to separate.