I haven't seen you and your incredibly But then here you are, landing in my inbox, as if somehow you knew all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a sexy, almost-topless version of my Marine. You smarty pants, you. So I checked myself out in the mirror - yoga pants the cute pair, in my defense , maternity t-shirt, a smooshed cheerio or four from my toddler's breakfast stuck to my leg, and I thought to myself, you know, self? And then I immediately had a pang of regret.
What if that's too conservative for the neighborhood Trunk or Treat? What if I'm not looking at all my options? After all, we all know service members wear MANY hats. So if we are going to try our hand at this come Halloween, so should we.
Some of them should even resemble piss-cutters For example, if you're married into the Air Force, you might want to try this Fly Babe costume out. Fever Fly Girl costume available on New Egg Every little girl in the neighborhood will be totally jealous of your lace and ribbon detailing so reminiscent of Belle coming down the stairs to the Beast! This is an especially good choice for anyone in warmer climes or who has maybe enjoyed some black bean tacos for dinner.
After all, it's already accounted for posterior airflow. For those of you living in colder places, like Alaska, or, you know, anywhere where "Fall" actually means something, you have your own specially-designed weather-appropriate options!
Pretty Paratrooper costume available on Ebay That's bound to keep you warm, and what homage you're paying to every paratrooper ever just by zipping yourself into this! But maybe you're more of the girly-girl type.
My closet is strewn with pink. For you, think military PLUS tutu. After all, Pinterest taught me you're only allowed to put a girl in a costume if it has a tutu on it. Commando Costume from Party City I'm not sure where you're going to dig up those boots I haven't seen them in the PX lately , but let's not be scuttled by details. Plus, if you're breastfeeding, it'd be pretty easy to feed on the go in this one. If you're shopping on a budget, don't be dismayed.
Choices abound for you, too! A bra and a hat?!? That's everything you need to be the Battalion Babe. Don't worry, I think Batman's cape can help if you get a little nippy out there.
We all know the military isn't all cammo all the time. I mean, when I start thinking about the Navy, this is obviously the first thing I see. The other mothers in the neighborhood will in no way whisper behind your back when you pull this baby out. Sexy Military Girl ensemble available at Pink Queen Am I the only one a little confused by the whole bed-and-teddy bear posing here?
I don't feel totally helpless to control our family schedule AT ALL when we start talking military time demands. So you, point maker, might want to consider this fair option: You know it's actually conservative because your shoulders are covered.
See, nothing to worry about, Grandma. Maybe you scored those full-leg pleather boots last year and you're looking for a new costume now. You can always be a sexy drill sergeant! This one also looks pretty nursing friendly. And lest my fellow Marine Corps wives feel left out, boy have I got the costume for you. It's called "Hoorah Hottie. You can do so much more than wear your spouse's rank on your bumper. Sadly, I hear the sounds of Marines rejoicing everywhere.
Come on, Lands End, your swim design team needs to get it together already! That bottom is a thong. Because there's nothing that says "I totally take the military seriously" than showing up to a Trunk-or-Treat in that. I think that becomes a trunk-as-treat? So, folks, I think all of this leads me to one really sensible conclusion.