Parent Confidential — Teens, Tech and Sex: What you need to know now Print or email this post: May 24, As a gynecologist, I thought that I was staying pretty connected to what is going on with sex and dating.
However, more and more I learn new information from my teenage patients about what sex is like for their generation. Because many other parents may not know about important issues likely affecting their teenage and young adult children, I feel compelled to share the following information with you about teenage sex today. I advise my patients who are mothers of teen boys that they really should have an open discussion with them about porn.
Teen girls can also be affected, but less often. But, for our children, internet pornography is free, accessible and quite raunchy.
Studies show that teen boys may develop an addiction to watching porn 1 , which puts them at a higher risk of becoming depressed 1. Young men also can suffer erectile dysfunction 1 after watching a lot of online porn.
Internet porn both leaves people wanting more, but also not really liking what they see; this combination contributes to depression and anxiety symptoms. And the types of porn available have become much more extreme in order to compete for viewers. For example, today adolescent boys can watch all sorts of both common and deviant sex acts online. To them, it may even seem normal to slap, hit or choke a woman during sex as the female porn stars are often portrayed as seeming to enjoy that.
Studies show that adolescent boys who watch pornography are more likely themselves to rape and be violent. Meet Nathan, your typical boy-next-door angelic looking kid and one of the many teenage boys who are addicted to pornography 3.
His addiction to internet porn started when he was 12 or 13 years old. He said that watching pornography online became an automatic part of his daily routine and left him feeling numb. Researchers who speak candidly with teenagers have found that for many teens porn has become their main source of sex education.
Anal sex has also become more common among teens despite the expectation that a man will have to coerce the woman to have anal sex and that it will be painful for the woman. Combine that with a lack of parental knowledge of the omnipresent nature of online porn and for lack of good alternative sources of comprehensive sexual education, pornography has become a sex education tool for our teens.
Ironically, even porn stars are starting to realize the dangers of online pornography to teens. He now recommends that kids learn about sex from classes and not just from online porn films. Without a possibly uncomfortable but important dialogue between a parent and their teen child, pornographic films may be teaching your kids about sex.
Comprehensive sex education should include not just information on menstrual periods and puberty, but should also include the elements of healthy relationships.
They should include that casual sex can carry risks, contraception information and why loving relationships are important.
For adolescent sex education to be complete, we really need to also include discussions about consent and respect, and that what they see in pornography is fantasy and often violent. Social Media Young people no longer talk on the phone for hours like we did when we were teenagers. They text or message instead. We have to wonder about this new type of communication and the effects it may have on future relationships.
I personally have texted my kids in the next room or even the same room just to get an answer to a question. With social media, teens have immediate social validation, or lack thereof.
The first connection with a potential partner is based solely on physical appearance. Swipe right, then text the woman and an hour later, you could be in bed having sex with a stranger.
Young women who were interviewed in the article said that they went along with Tinder hook-up sex because they felt like they had no other choice. Both women and men are getting married later with the average age of Convenient, no strings attached sex may or may not be what they are looking for now. However, many women interviewed lamented the lack of emotional closeness that a relationship brings.
Why go to a bar and talk to one person when you can play the numbers and text 15 available young women at home for free? Young men have become complacent. Why make much of an effort if you know that there are hundreds of potential sex partners for you within a mile radius? When there is a surplus of women, or a perceived surplus of women, the whole mating system tends to shift towards short-term dating. Men are making that shift, and women are forced to go along with it in order to mate at all.
I assumed that you had to be 18 years old to open an account but I was mistaken. However, it is very easy for anyone to open a fake Facebook account posing as a teenage boy with a fake profile picture. Every parent of a tween or teenage girl should really watch this video on how easy it is for a pedophile to lure in a teenage girl with a fake social media profile despite parental warnings.
Popular social media sites and dating app technology like Tinder were developed only in the last few years. Not only do parents not know how to advise their teenage children on how to be safe in the Tinder dating world, parents have no clue that their kids are on these sites.
But it really is important to have knowledge of what technology our kids are using. One might realize that the person that they are out with is a jerk and may not want to see them again after conversation. Or they might even fall in love. On the Tinder app, Tinder proposes to you different people within a certain mile radius of your location. You pick these people and swipe right solely based on their physical appearance.
Millennials say that they are frightened by the prerequisite vulnerability and exposure that comes from being in a committed relationship. Commitment-phobic, they are having trouble with too many choices offered by dating apps 9. This can lead to fragmentation of their social world and often lead to loneliness. The Future of Mating and Sex What could possibly surpass the easy hook-up sex of dating apps like Tinder?
Here is how it works: He then places the VR headset over his eyes and headphones over his ears. He starts the VR movie and it is as if he is in the pornography sex scene with the actress. The goal is to trick the brain into thinking that this is real sex. We are only steps away from the Orgasmatron machine 11 or the virtual sex helmets of movies like in the futuristic movie Demolition Man But in the greater picture, what does this mean for our society?
Teenage Sex and The Future Having meaningful, committed relationships may be harder for the next generation since as teens they are growing up on social media and with unlimited access to internet pornography. Millennials have told us that intimacy and closeness cause them anxiety- they feel more comfortable texting someone or swiping right on an app like Tinder to pick a sex partner.
Humans crave human touch but now even that can be outsourced on an app. Companies have been created specifically for that need. But what about the long term? Technology has changed our lives in exponential ways. We need to have open discussions with our children about sex, pornography and emotional intimacy. These are not comfortable topics for most parents. Respect, consent and the importance of pleasure for both partners are as important for adolescents to learn in comprehensive sex education as pregnancy and STD prevention topics.
The wellness and emotional health of our younger generation depends on it.