William Hageman, Tribune Newspapers When it comes to dating and sex, there are so many worst-case scenarios. The wedding that needs to be broken up. The passed-out date who must be carried somewhere. The minefield that one encounters while living with an ex. Sadly, many of us have been there. Luckily, we have David Borgenicht.
With co-authors Joshua Piven and Ben H. Winters, Borgenicht presents some pages of potential disasters — that bout of excessive gas on a date, for example — and suggests ways to overcome the problem.
Or at least minimize the damage. Other topics include travel, parenting, weddings, college, paranormal, golf and survival. It's also nicely organized. The section on how to fend off a competitor for your date is followed by sections on how to treat a black eye or a broken nose. Borgenicht says the basic approach of the authors is to put themselves in the subject zone and start brainstorming all the things that could go wrong.
Then they find experts to work things out. The best thing to do, if you're wearing sunglasses, take them off. If you're not, put some on.
Apologize; accept responsibility for your error; acknowledge your partner's feelings; and plan a special event to fix the mistake, you cad. Perhaps less universal but certainly entertaining: How to have sex in a small place including tips for a successful fling in an airplane lavatory. Although the books in the series are sold in the humor section of stores, Borgenicht says they have changed people's lives or the lives of loved ones. A guy said he saved his girlfriend from a burning building by using our advice on how to break down a door.
How to survive running into your ex Running into your ex at a party can be problematic for many reasons: Do not avert your gaze. Look him in the eye and smile. Shying away from eye contact only diminishes your power. Keep someone's gaze and you keep control. Do not let yourself get stuck in a corner or on a couch with your ex. Remain standing and be ready to move.
Take charge of the conversation. Start by mentioning something that you noticed earlier in the day. This keeps the dialogue fresh and superficial and in your control, and helps you to avoid complimenting or talking about the ex. Be upbeat — enthusiasm is a handy tool. Breezing by someone indicates you are not fazed or upset.
Introduce your date and send clear signals that this is who you are with now. Touch your date as you converse with your ex, making it clear that you have moved on. Keep your conversation short and sweet. Tell your ex that you are "meeting friends," but that it was nice to see him. Or, tug your date's arm and say, "Oh, look, there's Sally. I want you to meet her.
How to dance on a bar Find a crowded bar with music playing. Seek out a bar with an inebriated, appreciative crowd, a laidback bar staff, and a jukebox full of good tunes. Drink the right amount of alcohol. Enough so that your inhibitions shrink, but not so much that you cannot climb up and stay on the bar without falling.
Dry off the bar where you intend to dance. Use napkins or a dry bar rag to dry the bar and prevent slipping. Wait for a song you genuinely like. Load the jukebox upon your arrival to ensure that you will hear music that excites you. Choose upbeat songs that you know how to dance to. Enlist two people to help you up onto the bar. Place a hand on each of their shoulders. Prop the knee of your dominant leg on the bar stool. If the stool swivels, instruct your helpers to hold it still.
Hold your supporters' hands. Remove your hands from their shoulders and grab their hands. Swing your nondominant leg onto the bar. Continue to hold their hands until you find your balance. Keep foot movements to a minimum.
Lip-sync if you do not have a great voice. Take a bow when the song is over. Do not overstay your welcome. Grasp your supporters' hands and step down from the bar. Do not "stage dive" into the audience. Be mindful of your short skirt when climbing onto the bar. How to make your online profile more alluring Post a flattering photograph.
Pose with children or animals if you are male. Look like you are having the time of your life if you are female. For instance, avoid the word "unemployed" by saying that you are currently enjoying a sweat-free lifestyle while you search for a new challenge. Refer to signs of affluence such as luxury brands, cruises, extended vacations, resorts in exotic locales, and tax shelters.
Discuss a variety of interesting hobbies such as rock climbing, photography and wine. List "favorites" that present you as educated and sophisticated, yet not pretentious. Mention highbrow and mainstream books, movies, TV shows and musicians to create the impression that you have eclectic and wide-ranging taste. Avoid mention of your breakup.