Too many just go for it with anal pleasure and that ignorance usually results in a bad experience. So welcome and congratulations, just visiting this site increases your chances to having a great anal sex toy experience. Since anal sex toys never have and probably never will come with instructions, this section is designed to give you some information for the successful use of anal sex toys.
So if you don't know where to begin, then this is a great place to start. The one thing I would like to stress is that the first time you engage in anal play, you might not be able to accept a toy or penis into your anus.
As long as you and your partner accept that right now, you're golden. The key is to have patience, incorporate anal play into many sexual encounters and eventually you will be able to do it. Just remember to never, ever force a toy, penis, fingers, hands or anything for that matter into your anus. Never assume that your partner is all for it and that you can just do it. Some people have a lot of issues with anal play and you don't want to create an unhappy or uncomfortable situation.
Always find out if it's something your partner is interested in first. This may seem like common sense, but you'd be amazed at how many people don't think of this. Lubrication, lubrication, lubrication Since most anal toys are designed for insertion, the most important piece of advice I can give you is to use lots of lube.
The rectum is not self-lubricating like the vagina and penis, so artificial lube is absolutely necessary. Always remember, you can never add to much lube for anal penetration. My boyfriend and I have always had a saying, "Just when you think you have enough lube, add more. Friction can cause bruising and irritation that is very unpleasant. The item of insertion is rubbing, tearing and pulling on the delicate skin because there's too much friction.
You need it very slippery so there's no pull. Since the rectum doesn't produce its own lubrication, it tends to absorb lubes of thinner consistencies quickly. You must be careful with lubes containing oils, like Elbow Grease Quickie.
Oil will destroys latex condoms, gloves and finger cots. So if you plan on anal penetration with a penis or a toy with a condom on it, the condom will be destroyed. Even if you will be anally penetrating with a penis or a toy with a condom on it a few days later, it's still dangerous because lube takes a few days to totally flush out of the rectum.
The Elbow Grease Quickie contains mineral oil, so it will destroy latex, but if it's not dangerous for the vagina because mineral gets absorbed in the body. Although if you will be using a latex barrier for vaginal sex, you'll want to avoid oil based lubes as well because it could destroy the barrier, even if traces of oil get into the vagina.
Lubes with nonoxynol-9 are not recommended because nonoxynol-9 is a detergent and can be very irritating to delicate anal tissue. I also don't think lubes with warming or cooling agents are a good idea either, especially if you have sensitive skin. If too much is applied, the sensation you'll receive may be too overwhelming and unpleasurable.
Some anal lubes are proud to announce that they contain lidocaine or benzocaine, which are desensitizing ingredients.
Even though there are small amounts within, these lubes are also not recommended because you WANT to feel the all the sensations, you want to know if something is uncomfortable or painful. If you can't feel the discomfort that's happening, you won't know you're being hurt. Many people think it's a quick and easy way to try anal sex without pain. It's simply not true. This is part of the reason why people get hurt, they don't have the patience to take their time with it.
Manicure is important Whether you're using toys or not, most anal play involves fingers. Fingers that will be penetrating the anus should have short, smoothly filed nails. Some women keep just the nails that are used for penetration filed. Long, sharp nails can tear fragile anal tissue, even if you're being careful. If you must keep your nails long, make sure they're smooth and pad the tips of your latex gloves or finger cots with cotton balls because long, sharp nails can rip through the latex damaging the anal tissue.
Communication is essential You must have open communication during any kind of anal play, especially when you're using toys. Inserting toys is very different from fingers or a penis because the person doing the penetrating can not feel if the receiver is tensing up.
When penetrating with a body part, you can feel your partner's reactions more and that feeling is not there with a toy. If you are the receiver and are feeling any discomfort or pain, make sure you tell your partner immediately. Never ignore it or tolerate it. You should stop whatever you are doing, relax and start again. Since the anus has such tight, fragile muscles, it is important that the receiver is ready to accept more of the toy.
There's nothing wrong with telling your partner, "Wait, I'm not relaxed enough yet. Agree to a word and if it's said, then all activity has to pause. Share what the issue is, and agree on where to stimulate you more to get you aroused enough. The same open communication applies if things are going really well and you want more of the toy, tell your partner. When it comes to anal play, the receiver must absolutely be in the driver's seat.
Communication is important anyway for successful play of any kind. With the anus being so sensitive and fragile, it's a necessity. Patience Patience is vital for successful anal toy play. The receiver has to be sufficiently aroused and relaxed to accept a toy in their anus. Rushing will only cause pain and ruin the mood or even the desire to try any type of anal play again, which is, unfortunately, what happens often. I'm always hearing from women and men that anal penetration was very painful and they don't want to try it again.
Usually upon questioning, I find out that anal penetration was attempted immediately and that's just not possible. So, be very patient. Always check-in with your partner. Remember, you're both playing together, you're not just ramming stuff in your lover's butt. Anal play isn't something that needs to be incorporated every time.
Some nights it's not just meant to happen and that's fine. I love anal play and penetration, but I do it maybe 2 out of every 20 times I have sex.
Never push yourself or your partner into doing it. Anal penetration is a truly divine experience when the both partners really want it.
I feel the need to also reiterate So enjoy the process because it is exciting. Go at your own pace and find this to be a divine experience. Relax, Relax, Relax Sometimes a nice warm bath or shower can relax one before sexual play.
If there's any anxiety about your anus being clean, a bath or shower will cleanse you enough for anal play. For some, the cleaner they know they are, the more relaxed they are, going into it.
Breathe slowly and deeply. This causes blood to rush to the genitals causing them to engorge and relax. Taking quick, shallow breaths will stop this from happening and cause the body to tense up.
Start Slow Lots of foreplay is very helpful in arousing someone enough to accept a toy in their rectum. Once the person is sufficiently aroused, anal teasing is in order.
You must wake up the anus, with a little finger rubbing or even some vibrations. Apply a latex glove and lots of lube and softly rub your partner's anus in a circular motion. Let them know that this is most desired.
If you do insert your finger make sure you do it with the pads of your finger first, not the tip. The pads are much gentler. Your finger should also be curved toward the front of the body. Don't automatically thrust your finger in and out. Once it penetrates, hold it still until you feel the anus relax. Then feel free to insert it more and explore by circling your finger, tapping and rubbing the walls of the rectum.
Keep constant communication with your partner. And even when your lover's ready, don't just thrust it in. Toys have to be lubed up and inserted slowly and gently too. Other stimulation might be necessary at the same time as toys are inserted into the anus. Without simultaneous clit stimulation, it feels a little uncomfortable. With simultaneous clit stimulation, it turns into a whole clit thing which is very enjoyable. The butt becomes an extension of the clit.
Positions For Anal Penetration Some people feel more relaxed on their backs with their legs up in the air for anal penetration.
It feels like all their genitals are open and available. Others like to be on their knees, doggie style for anal penetration. Some women feel that makes it easier for their partner's to penetrate them anally and they can stimulate their clitoris by themselves with ease.
And still others feel that lying on their side is really comfortable.