Tweet Pin As much hype and attention as we give it, sex is just another normal function of the human body — which can only mean it has the potential to get pretty darn embarrassing. While everyone has had at least one sex slip-up before, these cringe-worthy-but-totally-true stories might make you feel better about some of your more forgettable sexual encounters.
First time "One evening after a few drinks, this younger boy and I were lying on the ground with our pants off and making out.
We removed our undies and he starts moving his hips back and forth, slowly and then faster and faster," recalls Laura. Mind you, this whole time I just laid there in fear of saying something that would embarrass him because he was a virgin. You were between my thighs. When we finally did get around to actually [doing the deed], it was fantastic.
It was a few days before classes started and the room next door to her room was still vacant, so we went in there and proceeded," Dana explains. Another knock, then the sound of a key going into the lock. Room was pitch dark, so it was just sounds, but we heard voices out in the hall. I got to the door with my pants just above my knees when the door opened," he recalls. The looks on their faces were priceless. I asked them to give us a few minutes — I mean, what choice did they have?
Whipped cream surprise "My wife and I decided to add a little spice to our love life by using some aerosol whipped cream. I got the can from the fridge and brought it to our dark bedroom, sprayed it all over her boobs and started to lick it off. It tasted funny and I thought that her skin chemistry was giving the whipped cream an off taste," says John. It was all green from mold. She started laughing hysterically as did I.
It killed the mood for the night though. I had a queasy stomach all night long. Insane date story involving poop will make your bad dates seem amazing 4. An unfortunate accident John, who is ironically a marriage, relationship and sexual coach, shares: We both had a little too much to drink. I began to feel the urge to ejaculate or so I thought in my half drunken stupor.
The problem was that I was peeing instead of ejaculating. Caught in the act Eliza recounts a story from her first year in college. His roommate was away for the weekend or so we thought. I'm under the covers giving him a blow job and having a good time. I didn't know what to do," Eliza recalls. So I just stayed down there, perfectly still, waiting for him to go. He talks for what seems like is eternity probably only two minutes.
Then I hear him say, 'See ya later Mortifying misfire "I am the first to admit, I'm not a pro at giving head but I try," says Trisha. It felt like I was drowning for a second and I began choking. I spent the next half hour blowing my nose.