Ways to play with yourself sexually. 69 Creative Ways to Have Sex With Yourself.



Ways to play with yourself sexually

Ways to play with yourself sexually

What do you recall about the experience? Was it slow and pleasurable — or quick and functional? Was it different from the last time, or does it usually involve the same routine?

For many of us too, it can carry shame or at the very least, sheepishness. Or would a far less flattering moniker apply?

Research from Kinsey and his team in the s and 50s through to the large-scale British National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles since the s has shown that self-pleasure is natural and that most people do it.

In fact, it can be really good for us. Taking a more mindful approach to it can be a tangible way to love and care for ourselves, nurture our erotic nature, and can even contribute to our becoming better lovers. Why bother to self-pleasure mindfully? Approaching self-pleasure as a practice, like meditation, can transform it in to a source of deep joy, relaxation, and learning. However we like to self-pleasure, by doing it mindfully we can: Really notice that we have a body!

It sounds simple, but so many of us spend our adult lives in our heads, largely disconnected from the body and its needs. Notice how our bodies like to be touched. Self-pleasure is an opportunity to explore the sensations of different touch with curiosity, and to notice what we respond to and how. Give our attention to the feeling states we experience during sexual arousal. Can we notice what feelings we want to experience — or avoid — and the behaviours we engage in to produce that outcome?

What happens in self-pleasure if the only goal is the intensity of orgasm? Experiment with raising arousal more slowly. If we take the time to slow things down, we can learn to experience more pleasure on the arousal journey. Orgasms will often be more satisfying too, if arrived at through a slower build of arousal. Notice skin sensation, over time, to the minutest detail. If you experience numbness, taking time to consciously notice the detail of skin sensations on small areas of the body can be very effective in re-building sensitivity.

Self-pleasure enables us to notice what our bodies like so that we can better ask for what we want. It also improves the skilfulness of our touch. In giving ourselves the gift of exquisite attention, we grow our capacity to give exquisite attention to others. As a route to getting in touch with our own bodies, mindful self-pleasure — however we do it — is foundational.

Here are the four practical keys to mindful self-pleasure: Here are some examples: Fantasy can be creative and fun and can be a safe place to explore taboos. However, it can also become a way of disconnecting from our bodies and our lovers, and getting in to a rut of wheeling out the same tired old themes.

Taking time will profoundly alter your experience. However, even 10 minutes of mindful self-pleasure regularly will bring benefit. By using the breath consciously, such as deep slow breaths, or fast breaths to build arousal followed by slow breaths and imagining spreading it around the body, we can hold more arousal in our bodies and learn to ride waves of pleasure, rather than rocket to the exit sign. Sound and movement contribute to the feedback loop that builds arousal. Savour Rather than immediately getting up and getting on with something else after self-pleasuring, take a few minutes to breathe and to notice the sensations in your body and the contents of your mind.

Give yourself the space to just notice. Savouring is an important part of integrating experience and embedding it, especially when we want to change a habit. Self-pleasure practises to try Engage in self-pleasure however feels good to you, using the four keys above, to bring a mindful approach to your solo sexytimes.

Breath experiment Play with your breath and how different uses of the breath can slow down or heighten arousal. Try deep, slow breaths in to the belly.

Notice the different effects of breathing vs holding your breath as you self-pleasure. Incorporate it in to your self-pleasure with curiosity and kindness. If there are hygiene concerns, such as with the anus, take a shower first and make getting clean part of your gift to yourself to then be able to explore with more comfort.

Reflection Self-pleasure while looking in a mirror. A large mirror will enable you to see your whole body. This practise is simple, but it can be powerful. If arousal drops, return to the porn to raise arousal again, and then go back to focusing on the body. Alternate as much as needed to begin to introduce more awareness of body sensation in the present moment. Erotic massage Give yourself a full body massage.

Stroke all of your body that you can reach with your hands. The five practises listed here are just some ideas to try. Repeat the ones you enjoy. Make up your own. Most importantly, have fun! Touch yourself in ways that feel good to you, explore and experiment, and notice the effects over time. Do you feel more connected to your body? Do you feel more comfortable or confident with a lover? Have feelings of shame reduced? Have feelings of joy increased? I am honoured to facilitate and teach people to notice that they are here, that they are deeply alive, that they can learn to be in pleasure, cultivate new neural pathways, and explore their bodies' capacity for joy.

For support in developing a self-pleasure practise, or to find out more about sex and embodiment coaching, visit my website.

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Ways to play with yourself sexually

What do you recall about the experience? Was it slow and pleasurable — or quick and functional? Was it different from the last time, or does it usually involve the same routine? For many of us too, it can carry shame or at the very least, sheepishness. Or would a far less flattering moniker apply? Research from Kinsey and his team in the s and 50s through to the large-scale British National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles since the s has shown that self-pleasure is natural and that most people do it.

In fact, it can be really good for us. Taking a more mindful approach to it can be a tangible way to love and care for ourselves, nurture our erotic nature, and can even contribute to our becoming better lovers.

Why bother to self-pleasure mindfully? Approaching self-pleasure as a practice, like meditation, can transform it in to a source of deep joy, relaxation, and learning. However we like to self-pleasure, by doing it mindfully we can: Really notice that we have a body! It sounds simple, but so many of us spend our adult lives in our heads, largely disconnected from the body and its needs. Notice how our bodies like to be touched. Self-pleasure is an opportunity to explore the sensations of different touch with curiosity, and to notice what we respond to and how.

Give our attention to the feeling states we experience during sexual arousal. Can we notice what feelings we want to experience — or avoid — and the behaviours we engage in to produce that outcome? What happens in self-pleasure if the only goal is the intensity of orgasm?

Experiment with raising arousal more slowly. If we take the time to slow things down, we can learn to experience more pleasure on the arousal journey. Orgasms will often be more satisfying too, if arrived at through a slower build of arousal. Notice skin sensation, over time, to the minutest detail. If you experience numbness, taking time to consciously notice the detail of skin sensations on small areas of the body can be very effective in re-building sensitivity.

Self-pleasure enables us to notice what our bodies like so that we can better ask for what we want. It also improves the skilfulness of our touch.

In giving ourselves the gift of exquisite attention, we grow our capacity to give exquisite attention to others. As a route to getting in touch with our own bodies, mindful self-pleasure — however we do it — is foundational. Here are the four practical keys to mindful self-pleasure: Here are some examples: Fantasy can be creative and fun and can be a safe place to explore taboos. However, it can also become a way of disconnecting from our bodies and our lovers, and getting in to a rut of wheeling out the same tired old themes.

Taking time will profoundly alter your experience. However, even 10 minutes of mindful self-pleasure regularly will bring benefit. By using the breath consciously, such as deep slow breaths, or fast breaths to build arousal followed by slow breaths and imagining spreading it around the body, we can hold more arousal in our bodies and learn to ride waves of pleasure, rather than rocket to the exit sign.

Sound and movement contribute to the feedback loop that builds arousal. Savour Rather than immediately getting up and getting on with something else after self-pleasuring, take a few minutes to breathe and to notice the sensations in your body and the contents of your mind. Give yourself the space to just notice. Savouring is an important part of integrating experience and embedding it, especially when we want to change a habit. Self-pleasure practises to try Engage in self-pleasure however feels good to you, using the four keys above, to bring a mindful approach to your solo sexytimes.

Breath experiment Play with your breath and how different uses of the breath can slow down or heighten arousal. Try deep, slow breaths in to the belly. Notice the different effects of breathing vs holding your breath as you self-pleasure. Incorporate it in to your self-pleasure with curiosity and kindness. If there are hygiene concerns, such as with the anus, take a shower first and make getting clean part of your gift to yourself to then be able to explore with more comfort.

Reflection Self-pleasure while looking in a mirror. A large mirror will enable you to see your whole body. This practise is simple, but it can be powerful. If arousal drops, return to the porn to raise arousal again, and then go back to focusing on the body. Alternate as much as needed to begin to introduce more awareness of body sensation in the present moment.

Erotic massage Give yourself a full body massage. Stroke all of your body that you can reach with your hands.

The five practises listed here are just some ideas to try. Repeat the ones you enjoy. Make up your own. Most importantly, have fun! Touch yourself in ways that feel good to you, explore and experiment, and notice the effects over time. Do you feel more connected to your body?

Do you feel more comfortable or confident with a lover? Have feelings of shame reduced? Have feelings of joy increased? I am honoured to facilitate and teach people to notice that they are here, that they are deeply alive, that they can learn to be in pleasure, cultivate new neural pathways, and explore their bodies' capacity for joy. For support in developing a self-pleasure practise, or to find out more about sex and embodiment coaching, visit my website.

Ways to play with yourself sexually

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