Why marriages end money sex. Money can’t buy love, nor save a marriage.



Why marriages end money sex

Why marriages end money sex

Counter to stereotypes, it is men married to women who find the most happiness in matrimony. In fact, according to research, the average married woman is less happy than the average married man, less happy than single women, less convinced that married people are happier than single people, and more likely to file for divorce.

The response to my recent essay on Money. In The Invisible Workload that Drags Women Down , I describe the thinking work that goes into marriage, household maintenance, and childcare—work best described as intellectual, mental, and emotional—and reviewed some of the research that shows that women married to men do substantially more of this work than men married to women. The result is an occupied mind and I mean this in both senses of the word: Why is it that these unequal family relationships still persist?

Do we see similar divisions of labor between same-sex couples? And what is there to do about it? While there are exceptions, it remains true that an asymmetrical division of labor in the family is still typical. Among dual-earner couples, men and women are working about the same number of hours per week in paid and unpaid work combined— 54 hours a week to 53, respectively —but women do about two-thirds of the unpaid work and one-third of the paid work ; men do the inverse.

One friendly reader commented, for example, that her husband is responsible for making sure the lawn gets mowed, the cars get serviced, and the gutters get cleaned. Succeeding at work means being able to compete and, combined with the masculine imperative and obligation to do so, work has a way of pulling men out of the family, an observation Levs emphasized in response to my original essay.

Yet joint retreat from work is usually a non-starter. Meanwhile, the cost of child care presses some families leave one person at home because it actually saves them money. All things being equal, that person is more likely to be female than male, given the gender pay gap.

The best laid plans often go awry. For her book, Gender Vertigo , sociologist Barbara Risman asked almost 7, high school juniors and seniors whether they planned to be career- or home-oriented in the future. Thirteen years later, she re-inquired.

Almost half of the career-oriented girls were housewives and nearly as many of the home-oriented girls were in the labor force. Other research confirms the trend: The lurking crisis As a result of these dynamics, couples often find themselves at a crossroads: Some persevere; the majority make a compromise. But on Plan B, men and women diverge in catastrophic ways: There are a powerful lesson in this literature and one really important piece of advice.

The lesson is this: They shape how our lives turn out whether we like it or not. And the advice is clear: If we only talk about what we want, we miss a dangerous point of conflict.

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Sex in Marriage (Key Facts and Principles)



Why marriages end money sex

Counter to stereotypes, it is men married to women who find the most happiness in matrimony. In fact, according to research, the average married woman is less happy than the average married man, less happy than single women, less convinced that married people are happier than single people, and more likely to file for divorce.

The response to my recent essay on Money. In The Invisible Workload that Drags Women Down , I describe the thinking work that goes into marriage, household maintenance, and childcare—work best described as intellectual, mental, and emotional—and reviewed some of the research that shows that women married to men do substantially more of this work than men married to women.

The result is an occupied mind and I mean this in both senses of the word: Why is it that these unequal family relationships still persist? Do we see similar divisions of labor between same-sex couples? And what is there to do about it? While there are exceptions, it remains true that an asymmetrical division of labor in the family is still typical. Among dual-earner couples, men and women are working about the same number of hours per week in paid and unpaid work combined— 54 hours a week to 53, respectively —but women do about two-thirds of the unpaid work and one-third of the paid work ; men do the inverse.

One friendly reader commented, for example, that her husband is responsible for making sure the lawn gets mowed, the cars get serviced, and the gutters get cleaned. Succeeding at work means being able to compete and, combined with the masculine imperative and obligation to do so, work has a way of pulling men out of the family, an observation Levs emphasized in response to my original essay.

Yet joint retreat from work is usually a non-starter. Meanwhile, the cost of child care presses some families leave one person at home because it actually saves them money. All things being equal, that person is more likely to be female than male, given the gender pay gap. The best laid plans often go awry. For her book, Gender Vertigo , sociologist Barbara Risman asked almost 7, high school juniors and seniors whether they planned to be career- or home-oriented in the future.

Thirteen years later, she re-inquired. Almost half of the career-oriented girls were housewives and nearly as many of the home-oriented girls were in the labor force. Other research confirms the trend: The lurking crisis As a result of these dynamics, couples often find themselves at a crossroads: Some persevere; the majority make a compromise. But on Plan B, men and women diverge in catastrophic ways: There are a powerful lesson in this literature and one really important piece of advice.

The lesson is this: They shape how our lives turn out whether we like it or not. And the advice is clear: If we only talk about what we want, we miss a dangerous point of conflict.

Why marriages end money sex

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4 Comments

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  2. The lurking crisis As a result of these dynamics, couples often find themselves at a crossroads:

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